HOW KINKY ARE YOU?

A guide to roles within BDSM

  • Age players play with age as part of their kink and typically take on a much younger or older age than they actually are, or prefer a partner that does.

    While they require a softer approach to be dominated than most other submissives, their submission can be just as deep as other subs or slaves.

    Sexuality is not necessarily involved, and there is no link at all with pedophilia (which is simply not on the BDSM spectrum).

  • The person who receives in a scene. They can be dominant or submissive.

  • Brats are, in essence, naughty submissives. They find disobedience a form of playfulness rather than letting their dominant down and require a compatible dominant who will not only teach them a lesson, but also accept that any number of lessons might still not necessarily change this behavior.

    Brat tamers are, in essence, dominants who enjoy handling bratty submissives. They find disobedience a form of playfulness from the side of the submissive, rather than a form of rudeness. They will take no offense to it, but will still teach the sub a well-deserved lesson because, of course, that is why the bratty sub shows such behavior in the first place.

  • Daddies/Mommies take on a caretaker role in the relationship, being a guide as much as a dominant.

    Daddies/Mommies dominate their submissives with an iron fist in a velvet glove—cuddly and affectionate on the outside, sturdy and hard on the inside. Using subtle psychological mechanisms rather than brute power, they nurture their littles into obedience.

    Sexuality is not necessarily involved, and there is no link at all with pedophilia (which is simply not on the BDSM spectrum).

  • Degraders like to degrade and humiliate their play partner(s), either by acting upon them in a degrading way or by forcing them to do things they consider degrading.

    Degradees like to be degraded and humiliated by their play partner(s), either by being acted upon in a degrading way or by being forced do things they consider degrading.

  • Dominants like to be in charge. Some like to have their partner obey them without questioning while others like some resistance while taking it their way. Some are only dominant in the bedroom and others are dominant throughout their daily life, as well.

    Unlike the top roles (giving pain/bondage/degradation), being dominant is more about who decides what happens (and takes the responsibility that comes with it) than about the content of what happens.

  • Experimentalists want to try it all. An open mind and an insatiable curiosity are their key features and they will rarely form an opinion before they have gathered firsthand experience. They often have plenty of fantasies and will actively pursue trying them out.

  • Masochists enjoy receiving (certain types of) pain from their partner(s), usually in a sexual context. Masochism is independent of pain tolerance—it is purely about the ability to enjoy (or get aroused by) certain levels of pain.

  • Masters/Mistresses receive complete control over the life of their slave(s), and all responsibilities that come with it. They go a step further than dominants in the sense that their power exchange is present 24/7 and in all aspects of their life, except for negotiated exceptions such as while at work.

    Their primary focus is to create a stable and safe environment for their slave(s), to allow for optimal servitude.

  • Non-monogamists do not see sexuality as necessarily a 1-on-1 scenario. Whether this means they will have several relationships or just see other people outside their relationship (or have even more exquisite constructions), depends entirely on the person and the situation.

    They all have one thing in common: their sexuality is more than something between them and one, fixed partner.

  • Owners own pets/properties and take responsibility over them on a 24/7 basis. Sexuality is not necessarily involved. In some cases, role play attributes are also provided (e.g. a cage for the pet).

    There is no link at all with sex with animals (which is simply not on the BDSM spectrum), and many pets don't even feel like they're playing an animal. It's more about the typical relationship between an owner and a pet.

  • Petplay is a kind of role play where the submissive enters a behavioral or mental state of an animal and their Dominant (sometimes called Handler), takes on the role of the owner or caretaker.

    Sexuality is not necessarily involved. In some cases, role play attributes are also provided (e.g. a cage for the pet).

    There is no link at all with sex with animals (which is simply not on the BDSM spectrum).

  • Primals are mainly focused on their natural instincts and they enjoy letting their inner animal out during sex. The key part for primal play is that the participants show their raw, emotional, sexual feelings during play. All labels, roles and protocols go out the window and the prey can become a snarling, growing, clawing animal, hell-bent on getting away from their predator.

  • Riggers like to tie up and restrain their partner(s), using rope and/or other attributes (chains, cuffs, spreader bars, etc.). Whether for sexual enhancement, for art or just for fun, they enjoy having their partners completely at their mercy.

    Rope bunnies likes to be tied up and restrained, using rope and/or other attributes (chains, cuffs, spreader bars, etc.). Whether for sexual enhancement, for art or just for fun, they enjoy being totally at the mercy of their partner(s).

  • Sadists enjoy inflicting (certain types of) pain on their partner(s), usually in a sexual context.

  • Slaves completely hand over the control and responsibilities over their life to their Master/Mistress.

    They go a step further than submissives in the sense that their power exchange is present 24/7 and in all aspects of their life, except for negotiated exceptions such as while at work.

    Serving their Master/Mistress is their primary focus in life and they rarely have limits for them.

  • Submissives like to follow. Some like to give their control over to their partner(s) while others like to have it forcibly taken. Some are submissive onlv in the bedroom while others are submissive throughout their daily life as well (usually with limitations).

    Unlike the bottom roles (receiving pain/bondage/degradation), being submissive is more about who decides what happens (and takes the responsibility that comes with it) than about the content of what happens.

  • A person who enjoys multiple, often opposing, roles. A person who is both dominant and submissive, top and bottom or a person who is a dominant bottom or submissive top may also call themselves a switch.

    Some prefer to switch with the same partner or partners while others have a dominant play partner and a submissive play partner. In either case, they do not fit solely on one end of the spectrum.

  • The person who gives in a scene. Can be dominant or submissive.

    Not to be confused with Dom—the person who "puts the scene together.”

  • Vanilla people enjoy a more conventional, "standard" sex and relationship model. There's nothing wrong with that, as long as you're having fun!

  • Voyeurs enjoy consensually watching the nakedness or sexual activity of other people.

    Exhibitionists enjoy consensually showing their naked body or a sexual activity to other people.